Case of the Mondays

Alas, no Sunday Shorts yesterday. I spent the day in bed with a cold. My apologies loyal fans. Well, I'm hoping you're still loyal. I'm building up a buffer of episodes, so even if Sunday Shorts isn't consistent the semi-weekly Wednesday Episodes will not be. So check back next Wednesday for another awesome Belief Suspenders.

For missing yesterday though, I offer you this useful trinket:

Did you know that the body can absorb some types of fishing line? It's true. Some doctors will use it for stitches because they don't have to be removed. So if your characters are out fishing and one of them gets a deep gash well...they could sew it up quite conveniently. Except for the whole infection thing.

For infection there are a few natural cures that could help. Garlic, though not readily available in the wild, does work as an antiseptic. So if your chars brought some to put on their fish their set.

But wait! He's bleeding too heavily. What do they do now? Well...you need an astringent. Something to help the muscles swell and close up. The one I'm most familiar with is yarrow. Some people know it because you can chew on the roots to numb your mouth. But its also an astringent and a decent bug repellent (decent not brilliant). Chew on the root for a toothache. Shove a leaf up your nose for a bloody nose. Or just apply to heavy bleeding.

Please note: This is not medical advice from a doctor. I'm a blog writer with no medical degree or naturalist experience. If you have an injury, see a real doctor. This is for use with fictional situations only. Thank you.

Episode 1: Breaking Bottles

SUMMARY OF SCENE

He staggered across the room, his focus fixed on my forehead.

"You're a schloven, no account schoundrel." His finger jammed into my shoulder. I couldn't let this verbose jerkwad talk to me like that. Penance must be paid, and I would show him just who was the real slob here.

I reached for a bottle. "That's the last straw."

Now what? Do I break the bottle and show him how close of a shave this sloven scoundrel can manage or do I just look ridiculous and kill him with laughter?

MY HYPOTHESIS

I originally thought I would just look ridiculous and be breaking my back before I broke a bottle.

ACTUAL OUTCOME

Here's where you go watch the video if you haven't already.

CONCLUSION OF SCENE

I try to smash the bottle on the bar and it bounces off, the cap digging into my flesh. Laughter drifts in the air. My cheeks burn, but I've got a plan. I uncap the bottle, dump the contents on the jerk's head, and watch him splutter.

"Isch that root beer?" He laughs harder.

I can't let him be right about me. I take a second swing and this time the bottle shatters. I feel a sharp pain in my lip. The bottle is now just a stump. The drunk is rolling on the floor in the root beer, guffawing like a fool. Liquid is trickling down my upper lip. I reach up and touch it gingerly, examining my finger. I'm bleeding. Doesn't hurt but I feel like a right fool.

The only course of action now seems to be retreat. I spend a half hour in the bathroom just waiting for the bleeding to stop.

DETAILS

Yeah, I did end up bleeding for about half an hour. It didn't hurt, but we had to stop filming and think of a better way to protect my face. Ironically, I forgot to put my gloves back on after we did get the "extra protection." I scratched my hand on the bottle cap. I'm so smart sometimes.

Our best results were with the corner of the rock, but this was largely because I hit it with the sticker up. That held the glass together. It crumbled pretty readily though. Of the seven bottles though I had 5 stumps. The other two were the sticker-side up times.

The brown-glass bottles broke a LOT easier than the clear coke bottle. So if you need to break something, grab the root beer. The best place was the corner of our "rock," and the worst was the corner of our table.

I spent an hour or more picking up shards of glass. I found shards as distant as ten feet from our testing areas. The water spray also got all over me. (If you look you can see it on my pants).

Strong guys have an easier time but its not guaranteed. My husband is a lot stronger than me. I can bench press 70 lbs. He can bench 170. But even then, he had a few times where it didn't break right away.

WRAP-UP

If you have any questions, comments, or ideas please share. I'm here to help. So my fellow liars, enjoy the video, and keep your pants on!